Now Misery Belongs Only To Me

I

And so here I stand. And so there you lay.

It’s an open casket. And there you are.

So close. So far. Gone. Yet I can see you. Gone.

WAKE UP!

There you are. Ivory white skin. Pitch black hair.

WAKE UP!

Open those eyes. Please look at me again. Please.

Cruel woman. Wicked woman. You said “Yes!” when I got in one knee.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” and wrapped your arms around my neck.

And then you stared. You looked into my eyes. What were you seeing?

You said “Yes!” and kissed me and agreed to be my wife.

WAKE UP!

Cruel woman. Wicked woman. Can’t you see I’m suffering?

Does your promise mean nothing to you?

WAKE UP!

Here I stand. There you lay. Open casket.

I hold these memories. Holding to them. Our memories.

But now you’re gone.

You brought me happiness. Now I’m in pain.

Open those eyes. Tell me It’s a joke. Can’t you see I’m suffering?

Look at me once more with your love. With your lust.

Did I make you feel like a woman?

Did you trust me?

Did you love me?

Never once did I cheat on you, though opportunities came.

You were mine. Mine! and I was only yours!

Come back. Please. Get angry at me once more.

Please. Make my life miserable again and get angry over some meaningless thing.

She’s gone. I want to cry. I have to cry. Not here. Not now.

Someone give me a bottle. Two. Three!

I’ve locked my door. Shut off my phone. Leave me alone.

She’s gone. Gone. Never to return.

II

Years have passed. Still you haunt me. Like a ghost. Leave me alone!

When I’m alone I weep. I look at your pictures. I should have taken more.

I look at our videos. Not enough. I’m forgetting the sound of your voice.

You said my name in that certain way when no one else was around.

And your scent. How much pleasure it brought me. I can’t replicate it.

These images of you…

Do I move on as I’m advice? Do I put you to rest?

You were to be my wife…

Do I lock these images up and start again?

You were the one I loved…

I’m with another woman now. They tell me it’s what you’ve wanted.

You are the one I love…

Is it true? Can you hear my prayers? Is it true? ANSWER ME!

Please say it ain’t so. Please tell me you don’t understand.

Scream at me. Hit me. My jealous woman!

Reproach me again and again!

Don’t understand! Don’t have consideration!

Tell me I am yours and only yours and no one else can have me!

Tell me I’m again to be with you. Forever!

Please come back.

Cruel woman. Wicked woman.

You left me alone. Alone. Only you knew my soul. Only you.

Had you been mine happy would two souls be,

But it was not meant to be,

Now misery belongs only to me.

 

Posted in Blog Posts, My Fiction.