In high school I had but one girlfriend. I loved his with the passion of a first love, and she loved me back. Together we explored the transition between childhood and adulthood. We began to go out, go party, drink alcohol, get high. She went out one night without me and never came back. There had been a car crash, she wasn’t wearing her seat belt, her head hit the windshield, her soul left her body.
Who was to blame? The driver was drunk and high, so I blamed alcohol and drugs. These took away the girl I loved and no matter how much I wished and prayed she would never come back. I was broken, but broken kept on.
In my senior year I was invited to a Mormon church activity, I was curious, so I came along. These Mormons did not drink alcohol, did not perform drugs, abstained from tobacco. These were the only people I had ever met those saw my life choice as natural and right. There was something about them that made me feel welcome, as if I had finally found where I belonged. There was an activity for speed dating in this church event, I took it, and in a few short minutes I was able to speak to a dozen Mormon girls. They were feminine, with their long dresses and long hair. I spoke to them and they were clever, never had I spoken to girls that knew the basics of history. They spoke of how they wanted to focus on their careers while making time to start a family and their idea of fun didn’t consist of drugs, alcohol and sex.
I became a convert right there and then. Perhaps happiness would come back to my life. If I could find a woman like this, to love and be loved back. I would make it my life’s mission to protect her and honor her. What greater gift could a man ask from heaven than a woman like this? What would I not do to treasure her? To become a family with her? I would fight everyday of my life not to fail her.
And so with this in mind I moved to Utah. A rural area, and in here I would continue my education and hopefully find the love of my life who I would make my wife.
I dated many girls until I found her. Karlee with her blonde hair and green eyes. Karlee with her big smile. Karlee who would pronounce my name in her special way. Karlee who whispered in my ear “I love you.”
This Mormon community was composed of the nicest people I had ever met. Until…
Until I became serious with Karlee. Never in my life had I been looked upon with such hatred as her family and friends did. Had I served a mission they asked, and became hostile when I said I had not.
For it is the belief of every Mormon that three heavens exist. Only the most devoted in their faith will achieve the “highest celestial kingdom.” I had not served a mission. It was going to be a long shot for me to enter this highest celestial kingdom. What did this mean? Their beloved Karlee would have to follow me into a lesser plain of existence for all eternity if we married. They would never see her in the afterlife. She wouldn’t experience the highest possible bliss in blessed eternity. To be with me would not be to condemn her not to hell, but a step not too far above it. And so they hated me. I lacked their VIP Mormon pass for the afterlife.
Her friends and family began to try to convince her to leave me. To find someone else. To date a good Utah boy who had served a mission. But she loved me and with me she decided to stay.
And from that act of love from Karlee I became a demon who had taken her away. I was threatened to leave her or I would be killed. I did not bend. Her friends sent someone to my apartment to beat me up, I won the fight.
Threats and violence did not suffice, so they took to slander. If they could get me kicked out of school, I would then be forced to leave the small town. And so they got to work.
One day a campus police knocked on my door. He told me I was arrested. I’ve been accused of doing drugs and sexual harassment. And so I went to trial.
No drugs were ever found in my apartment. My drug test showed me to be clean. As for the sexual harassment? I had been perusing a girl who did not want to be with me they said.
Was that so?
Our Facebook status said we were in a relationship. It requires both of us to agree to it to make it public. Was I harassing my own girlfriend?
I had the whole history in my phone of text messages and calls between us. Am I harassing her when she texts me and we have a back and forth conversation? Our conversations were read out loud. Here I was, telling the girl to study, to cheer up, helping her create a diet plan and instructing her in the basics of nutrition and even waking her up and giving her a ride to church.
But I had taken advantage of her in my room they protested. It was all a clever trick to take advantage of this poor innocent girl who was raised to be so different.
Was it not you who walked in my room Karlee? Was it not you who took my shaking hand and placed it under your blouse and smiled and said “It’s ok”?
And so I stood accused. What was the rationale they were using against me? I am a foreigner to their community. I did not grow up in their church. This girl was good, I was bad. Her friends who accused me were good Mormon girls, and good Mormon girls do not lie. Something I must have done to be in this situation.
But I had empirical evidence on my side. Simple premise and conclusion would have exonerated me. No drugs. I was clean in their test. All of our communication concluded we were in a relationship. She was consenting and actually chasing after me. Our speech consisted in me trying to motivate her to diet, study and be in time at church. The judges knew I was being framed. but I stood no chance while being judged by a jury of those who were not my peers.
- For if I was found innocent that would mean that the girls have lied.
- This would destroy credibility in their value of their Mormon word, for it is believed Mormons don’t lie.
- It would also mean that the girls falsely accused me.
- This means that I had the right to pres charges against them.
- These were “good girls” and the jury couldn’t allow me to rightfully reciprocate against their injustice.
- Thus I had to be prevented from making any possible justful and legal reciprocation.
- Thus I’m found guilty.
And so the beautiful good Mormons celebrated their victory against me as I was sent away to pay for my crime. For having loved and been loved back. They celebrated how their sweet beloved Karlee was saved, and would assure she found the perfect cookie cutter Mormon boy for her to marry. And so they celebrated. But God had not forgotten his ten commandments. And God had not forgotten justice. “Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness”! And so God honored an objective reality and did not favor their self-delusion in self-perceived moral superiority. They had sinned, and they would be punished despite their self-claims to justice and goodness.
And so in their attempt to find salvation and bring their sweet beloved Karlee to the highest celestial kingdom they all doomed themselves to Malebolge, the eight circle of hell where hypocrites, liars and counterfeiters suffer their eternal agony. And so they suffered for all eternity. And so they blamed me for all eternity. And so they hated me for all eternity.
